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How to Cope With Your 1st Mother’s Day When Mom Just Passed Away?

Celebrating your very first Mother’s Day when your family just recently concluded the funeral services is undoubtedly a painful experience. It may even be more heart-rending than other holidays like New Year or Christmas spent without a loved one. Why? Because Mom’s Day is especially for her, making your loss appear more glaring. 

When it comes to first celebrations after a death, emotions tend to be raw, heavy, and messy. Mother’s Day is even more melancholic because it is a day that is supposed to revolve around the role she played in your life. Sadly, she is not present, and coping can feel seemingly impossible, especially after a loss. However, you must do your best to get through this holiday in an emotionally and mentally healthy state. 

Pretending this day is just an ordinary one and ignoring it may only hurt you more. Bottling up your emotions could eventually lead to a future meltdown. That’s why it’s important to honor this annual celebration because even though she’s no longer physically present, her spirit lives on in you, her family. Here are some ideas for Mother’s Day to help you cope and celebrate at the same time. 

Continue With Family Traditions

Holidays are a day for embracing family traditions. Perhaps, you make your mom breakfast in bed or take her out to her favorite cafe for waffles and espresso. This could have been a ritual for you and other family members. Some of these places could already be in your family’s list of favorites so once you’ve discovered them, why would you drastically change things? 

Instead, you may consider continuing the tradition because doing routine activities provides a sense of normalcy which you need in these difficult times. Doing so may feel very painful without mom, but going on usual jaunts and old hang outs is one way to pay homage to the memories you made with her. Furthermore, bringing everyone together to relive family traditions is better than being alone. Sharing experiences will help ease loneliness. 

Shop for Presents for Other Members of the Family

Typically, most people celebrate Mother’s Day by buying mom presents, taking her out to lunch, or selecting a sweet greeting card. Even though your mom is no longer around, it doesn’t mean that this tradition has to end. Instead, continue with the spirit of giving by showering your other family members with gifts. Surprise them with meaningful tokens that they will love. 

The act of selecting the items can provide a brief reprieve from your sorrow. Besides, choosing a gift for them means you are thinking of them in your trying times. This creates a positive atmosphere, which can be very contagious. It may make them smile and alleviate the pain, especially on this day wherein they miss mom a little bit more.

Plant a Memorial Garden

People usually honor their mom with flowers on Mother’s Day. Visiting her grave and offering funeral flowers can be a substitute while listening to memorial songs. If you want to make it a happier occasion, you can plant her a memorial garden. Although planting flowers next to her grave may be a great idea, you must first check with the cemetery director if it’s allowed. 

Alternatively, you can plant her a garden right in your own backyard. The month of May is the perfect time to plant flowers because of the pleasant weather. If you want something lasting, you can opt for perennial plants that require little attention or even a tree. These plants offer a sense of permanence that can comfort your soul. At the same time, they provide positive contributions to the environment by providing oxygen and filtering out pollutants. This is definitely one sweet and productive way to honor your mother. Besides, studies show that “earthing” or touching the ground is therapeutic and healing. 

Carry on With Her Activities

Does your mother support any charities or non-profit organizations? Continue with her advocacy and let this be her legacy. You can continue to give back to your community in her memory. Besides, volunteering, even if only for a day, is one way to infuse positive vibes into your life. This is something that can heal your broken heart. 

Use this worthwhile gesture to divert your attention and assuage your longing for your mother. Working with a charity your mom supported is a sentimental and meaningful way to honor her this Mother’s Day. More importantly, working with the underprivileged sector will help you realize that in spite of your mother’s death, you still have so many blessings in life to feel grateful for. 

Be Open to Making New Traditions

Most people who have lost a loved one will say that the first holidays are usually the hardest to get through. Without your mother, you have a new sense of normal. Hence, you could try to establish new traditions to help you cope with your grief and loss. Though it may be difficult at first, the passage of time can foster healing. As future Mother’s Day celebrations come, your wounds will be less raw and it will be easier for you to celebrate. 

Of course, trying new things doesn’t mean that you’ve forgotten your mom at all. Fond memories will find a way to resurface, even if you carry on with new traditions. All of these things allow you to carry your mother’s spirit into the future. Even if you cannot celebrate this day with her physical body, her spirit lives in you always. 

How Do I Grieve During The Holiday Season?

The holidays can be bittersweet if you’ve just recently celebrated the funeral services of a loved one. In fact, even if the funeral ceremonies happened a decade ago, you can still feel melancholic during the holiday season because of a noticeably empty seat.  Read more

6 Ways to Optimize Tech to Help You Mourn And Cope

The onset of the digital revolution changed many things, including how people grieve. From Zoom funeral services to online obituaries, it is clear that the way people communicate, support, and comfort each other have evolved tremendously. Today, you can leverage technology to manage your grief. Though it does come with new questions like how to handle social media used properly after a death, technology has given the world more helpful resources. Here are some tips so you can use tech to help you mourn and move on. Read more

5 Popular Condolences Gifts or Tokens Apart From Flowers

During the funeral services, it is common for the guests to bring in gifts like funeral flowers. However, it is not the only condolences token you can give. You can show your love and concern for a grieving family member or friend by sending other gifts. 

Though floral arrangements are beautiful, flowers wilt and do not last. Besides, some people have pollen allergies, so they may not appreciate blooms at all. If you want to send a more unique and personal gift, consider these five sympathy gift suggestions. They are also thoughtful and meaningful; thereby, effectively showing your condolences and support for the family left behind.

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The Proper Cemetery Etiquette

Everyone knows a cemetery is a quiet, solemn place where you can be reflective or pensive. You can bring funeral flowers and stay for a few minutes or several hours to remember your loved ones who have passed on. This peaceful ground is a final resting place where you honor the memory of the dead. For this reason, this unique space holds unwritten rules that you must follow. If you want to be sure you’re not breaking any code of conduct, it would be helpful to abide by these cemetery etiquette tips. 

 

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How to Deal with the Impending Loss of a Loved One?

How can you feel at peace with the thought of your loved one’s imminent death? When you know you will be planning a funeral in the very near future, it can take its toll on you. While the sudden demise of a loved one can unleash seemingly insurmountable feelings of despair and grief, losing a loved one slowly can be just as traumatic for the family living in perpetual anguish waiting for the time to come. Anticipatory grief or sadness felt over impending death can lead to emotional challenges and upheavals that make your life feel as if it is tragic, meaningless, and destined for doom. Read more

7 Concrete Ways on How You Can Comfort Someone Who is Mourning

You may struggle to find the right words to say during the funeral services. After all, a person who lost a loved one is usually broken down with grief and despair. However, you must do everything that you can to reach out. No matter how difficult the situation may seem, you can’t just let things go. 

More importantly, don’t ask the mourning family members about what you can do. This just transfers the burden on their already worn-out shoulders. Instead, it would be better to take initiative and perform concrete actions. Here are six specific things you can do to ensure you offer much-needed assistance and support during times of sorrow. 

 

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How to Assess If Your Children Are Ready to Attend a Wake or Funeral

It is understandable why you may find it difficult to process your grief as you get ready to attend the funeral services. This is a difficult task for anyone to prepare for. However, parents also face the added pressure of determining if their children should attend the wake or funeral. That being said, there is no age rule for a child when it comes to funeral ceremonies.

In reality, age is not the most important consideration as every kid has a different maturity level. They cope with loss in different ways. Attending the funeral of their loved one may feel healing and therapeutic for some kids. However, for other children, being there could be overwhelming. If you are not certain if your children are ready to attend a wake or funeral, here are some factors that can help you make a decision. 

 

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